Compare love as a “Tree” standing on the bank of a river. If the river flows gently and smoothly – there will be a reflection of the tree so strong in the river that on a photograph it would appear as there are two trees. A light on the bank will reflect with similar intensity from the stream. It ripples are caused in the stream, the light will not be as strong, but if the river runs true, the reflection will strengthen.
In order to be able to love, one must love oneself. How can you give of oneself if it is not there in the first place. Condition yourself to loving yourself and the rest will follow.