Self-respect is the root of discipline: The sense of dignity grows with the ability to say no to oneself. ~Abraham Joshua Heschel
You know that one moment where you feel like everything is falling apart, the world is going to end, nothing and nobody can make you feel better? You’re crashing down, waaaay down. You feel like dropping to your knees, and screaming “NOOOOOoooooooooo” in the Darth Vador voice. Ok ok you get it. But yes, you know that feeling? Well, It’s never as bad as you think it is. “STFU justeezy, you’re crazy.” No Im dead serious. During those moments of emotional craze, we automatically want to make ourselves feel better, we will do ANYTHING to bring us out of this misery.. even if we act a fool we justify it because obviously nobody likes pain. We think, “Im going through this horrible mess right now, while I am juggling all these things at the same time, so I deserve to act irrational and take out my shit on you.” Well, I think in reality, a lot of us just do not know how to deal with pain.
Guess what? Pain is good. Yessir!
In fact, this may sound slightly sadistic, but I kinda like this pain feeling. It makes me feel like Im growing as a person. It makes me proud of myself that I accept all sides of justeezy and can dissociate this shitty feeling from me. Pain teaches us many many lessons. Pain is what makes us stronger. Sometimes we just need to hit rock bottom. So that we know what’s good in our lives. Teaches us what to appreciate. Let’s us know what makes us happy. The feeling is horrendous, I will attest to that. But guess what? Good fucking thing it doesn’t last forever. And you know what else? Chances are there is at least one person in this world who is going through the same thing as you. Personally, I find that quite comforting. We are not alone in this world, somebody does understand what you’re going through. Because that’s what it is right? When we’re feeling that pain, we just want somebody to understand what we’re going through, we want to feel validated?
Most of the time it’s not even about validation though. Remember that it is always how we perceive things. Practicing self-control amplifies our self-respect. Ask yourself “Will I regret this later on if I say this?” Ask yourself who will benefit from this. If you are still feeling that you need to say what you need to feel a few days or even a week from your breakdown moment, then say it. At least you had some time to form your words in a respectable manner.
You can’t control anything or anybody, but you can control yourself. The best thing about that is, is that it’s all on you. Anything you say or do, you cannot blame the other person because it’s coming from you. Taking responsibility for your own actions and words is probably one of the best things you can do for yourself. Given any circumstance, we should always be putting our best foot forward. Because at the end of the day, all you have is you. And you’re the one who has to live with yourself, your regrets and mistakes.